Redneck Christmas Poem Collection

    ~ Redneck Christmas Poems ~

    Billy Joe and Bobby Joe,
    Bubba cakes and me
    Skinned us this here possum
    Hanging from the tree
    Billy Joe told Bobby Joe
    That we should make a deal
    That's why I'm sendin' you this gift
    Instead of our road kill!
    © 2004 Jennifer Byerly

    Awww heck folks
    It's just a little gift
    Made outta party leftovers
    To give y'all spirits a lift

    Cigarette packs, bottle caps
    And beer tabs galore
    But don't open it
    For the cigarettes are no more
    katieangelamber © 2004

    I don't know what to buy you
    So I made you something new
    With my party leftovers
    That guests in the trash did threw

    Since it's something special
    Hang it on your tree
    Show it off with pride
    But don't give it back to me!
    katieangelamber © 2004

    Me pocket moneys nearly out
    And I've still some pressies to buy
    So I thought I'd give this box of nowt
    To some special gal or guy
    Don't be shocked to find it wrapped
    In brown paper tied with string
    For the biggest surprise is in the box
    When you open it to find nothing
    © Yvonne Lowther 0804

    This pretty ornament
    was made by me, yall
    It's made just for decoration
    Hang it where it won't fall
    It was made with Texas keepsakes
    I think beer caps really shine
    The rope will keep it together
    It's from Texas and one of a kind!

    This redneck ornament
    Is very special you see
    For I made it myself
    From all my treasures to be.

    Since I'm from Texas
    And Texans do things huge
    I used up all my string
    And my best trash for you!
    katieangelamber © 2004

    Now I am rather ornery
    A Texas red necked gal
    That's why I saved my best gift
    For my bestest pal
    It's a simple red neck ornie
    I keep it on the shelf
    I couldn't waste the ciggies
    So I smoked 'em all myself!
    © 2004 Jennifer Byerly

    A present rather ornery
    From a Texas Red Necked gal
    An empty pack of ciggies
    Smellin' kinda foul
    Tried to make it purdy
    But I'm no stinkin' elf
    That's when I smoked the package
    Then wrapped it up myself!
    © 2004 Jennifer Byerly

    This little package
    Was made special by me
    It's a Christmas ornament
    To hang on your tree
    Since it's from Texas
    And we're down to earth folks
    It holds charms from nature
    And is held together with rope
    I wrapped it and glued it
    Now it's a piece of art
    I filled it with Texas love
    So please don't take it apart

    Money is very tight
    And times are hard
    And I'm too damn poor
    To even buy you a card
    But being the redneck Texan I am
    I came up with something new
    I collected up all my trash
    And made an ornament for you!
    katieangelamber © 2004

    The party was great
    The hangover was fun
    But the damn cleanup
    Made me want to run

    I dug in my heels
    Like a true Texan does
    And came up with an idea
    To set everyone abuzz

    I took the extra trash
    And made a ornament for you
    But don't take it apart
    It's held by the crap off my shoe!
    katieangelamber © 2004

    Redneck Wine Glass

    This here's a wine glass jest fer you
    y'all can drink your vino or some brew.
    Attached is a tag to let ya know whoz is whoz
    and a "to-go" apperattis with lid and screw.

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