Inspirational & Humorous Survival Kits
with Poems, Quotes & Sayings:
- Survival Kits starting with " D - I "
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* Please leave names on poems.Thank You! :)
Survival Kits - starting from "D - I".
Compilation by Jazz. *
DEER HUNTER'S
In this can are things you know,
will help you hunt deer in the snow.
There's masking scent so they won't see,
you hiding up there in the tree.
Trail tacks here for when you roam,
to help you find your way back home.
There's also an orange safety vest,
so your fellow hunters don't lay you to rest.
Hand, foot warmers and chapstick too,
so that mean frostbite doesn't get to you.
The face mask is for you to wear,
so icicles don't form on your mustache hair.
There's a pocket wrench that sure looks dandy,
I know that it will come in handy.
Just put the ear plugs into your ear,
so that when your done you still can hear.
You can munch on a nutritious snack,
while you plan you reindeer attack.
And when all is done and you go to bed,
just take some aspirin for your head!
Drill team
# Get a container, it can be either a pretty bag or box.
# Add a Happy Face Sticker - to remind her to smile, smile, smile. (I found smiley keychains at the dollar store)
# Add a Throat Lozenges - to soothe her throat after yelling for the team. (I did mints)
# Add a Rubberband - to remind her to stretch before jumping. (I made the slip-proof hair elastics with ribbons tied on for their hair)
# Add a Star - to remind her to always do her best and reach for the sky. (I used little star tattoos they put on their faces)
# Add a Puzzle Piece - because without her the squad wouldn't be complete. (I painted puzzle pieces with their team colors and added their names and made pins out of them so they could wear them on their uniforms)
# Add a Starburst - to give her a "burst" of energy when she needs it.
# Add some Peanuts - to remind her that it is OK to be nutty sometimes.
Football stress seeds
(baggie with colored candy sprinkles)
Quarter back sacked.................red
Missed field goal.....................pink
Fumble..................................purple
.........................................yellow
off sides..................................green
face mask...................................blue
unnecessary roughness........................white
stupid mistakes .............................one of each
Golf Ball Seeds and Golfer Tranquilizers.
For relief of distressing symptoms associated with luck opponents and stupid partners
Recommended doses:
Ball in rough - 1 green
Ball in water - 1 purple
Ball in sand trap - 1 yellow
Ball out of bounds - 1 black
Bogie - 2 orange
Double Bogie - 3 red
Arguing Opponant/partner - 1 of each color
Mental confusion - 2 of each color
Really, REALLY mad - eat entire bag!!!
I put jelly beans in a small bag with this as a topper
Seeds On the front
A vine or two will provide you with enough galof balla so you will never have to hunt for one in the rough again and that is a pretty "fairway" to save time and Money
On the back
PLANTING INSTRUCTIONS:
Choose a smooth section of lawn.
The closer it resembles a green, the higher the quality of the balls produced.
Remove a divot of sod using either a 5 or 7 iron.
Use your putter to dig a hole about 6 inches deep - this gives new meaning to "puttering around in the yard..."
Put the seed into the hole,
Place a tall, thin pole on top of the seed as a trellis for the vine.
Use a triangular flag to number each pole.
If you try to grow over 18 plants at one time, they may not perform up to "par"!
If plants are over watered, the balls will be attracted to water hazards.
HARVESTING:
Your first crop should be ready for harvest in "roughly" 18 days.
When balls mature, the flag will fall over.
Carefully pull the vine out of the ground.
Under it, you should find a matched set of high quality golf balls.
After running them through a ball washer, they should suit you to a "tee".
I put these in a seed packet with a hole cut out of the front and put cellophane behind it.
ZI used clear faceted beads for the seeds I'll put a picture on the refrigerator door. Sure am sorry Les isn't here - there are probably typos and there is nothing worse than a product that you spend time on and find out you have spelled something wrong.
Golfer's
...Aspirin to take away the headache that was caused from the game!
...Band Aid for the blisters from holding the golf club so tight.
...Bottled water - to keep from passing out
...Candle - to help you find your ball when it starts to get dark and you are still looking.
...Chapstick - to keep lips moist
..Chocolate Golf Balls - for the golfer that lost his
...Cleat cleaner or stick - so you don't track dirt and grass into the car
...Eraser - to remind you that with your next golf game you start with a clean slate.
...Extra Pencil - in case you need to cheat a little.
...Gum - to help you "stick" with that difficult hole.
...A Joke Book for Golfers - to pass time for when it rains.
...Lifesaver Candy - for when your ball gets hit into the water (or sand trap)
...Quarter - may this be the only "eagle" you get
...Rubber Band - a reminder to keep your swing flexible.
...Snickers Bar - to remind you that you are having fun.
...Sun Screen - for shielding the sun from the face
...Sweet & Sour Candy - to prevent any harsh words slipping out.
...Tee - because we may forget to pick some up
...Towel - to wipe off the sweat of hitting the ball
..-Wooden Egg - for all those Birdies
©Paulette, 1998~~TLC Creations
4. Cinnamon Toothpicks "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." -Jack Lemmon
6. Candy Watch "If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."
--Bob Hope
7. Baby Ruth "It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
-Hank Aaron
8. Smarties "Practice puts brains in your muscles."
-Sam Snead
9. Laffy Taffy "Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six and write down five."
-Paul Harvey
Golfer's stress pills
(round candy sprinkles in a baggie)
For relief from distressing symptoms with lucky opponents & stupid partners.
Recommended doses:
Ball in rough - green
Ball in water - blue
Ball in sandtrap - yellow
Ball out of bounds - purple
Double bogey - red
Arguing with opponent or partner - one of each
Mental confusion - 2 of each
Really, REALLY mad - take entire bag
A Gymnasts Inspirational Kit
A small wooden bead -- Block on Vault
A sticky wall walker -- Stick Beam
A smiley face button -- Smile on Floor
A leather strip or string -- Connect on Bars
These were all strung together on the leather strip.
All of these items were small and fit into a plastic film container
#1 -
Jerky
Trail mix
Chap stix
Socks
bug repellant
map of the area to be hunted etc..
... ADD ..2 one dollar bills so that "THE MIGHTY HUNTER"can say he brought home TWO BUCKS...
...ADD ....aspirin ...incase he gets "BUCK FEVER"......
...Add a frilly Garter...label it DEAR LURE
...to lure my BUCK back home.
A small bottle labeled "DEAR REPELLENT'and
"Not now Dear, I'm going HUNTING"
~unknown
...Snacks your Hunter/Fisherman likes,
...Hand warmers (the kind you press or pop and it turns warm) (Just go to a sporting store and look for small hunting & fishing stuff!)
...Alka Seltzer - After the campfire food.
...Balloon-To remind you not to blow up at other Hunters.
...Bandage - In case you need some TLC.
... Bark with moss remembering that moss always grows on the North side of tree. (see compass)
...Bellybutton lint - use as fire starter (please feel free to substitute your own).
...Caramel-To help you out of sticky situations.
... Cell phone in case you can't read the map.
...Compass -
To help find your way
To help you maintain your sense of direction
So you won't lose your way
Compass, in case you don't remember which way is North (see bark)
...Cotton Balls - To cushion the rough terrain.
...Dear Repellent - "Not now dear, I'm going hunting."
...Doctor's excuses, supply of - stating you won't be at work on__________ (insert date) due to Buck Fever.
...Dog Biscuit-We will be doggone happy when you get the Big One; For your loyal companion.
... Forked stick - use with elastic from drawers for a sling shot to roast the squirrel who died from laughing watching you collect bellybutton lint and rubbing two sticks together. Also may be used as a rifle prop to steady your gun while you're violently shaking from the cold.
... Gather leaves, throw in garbage bag and hop up and down for impromptu sleeping bag. Or, gather two ducks, throw in garbage bag and gently hop if you prefer a down-filled sleeping bag.
...Hershey's Kiss - To attract a "dear"
... Labels to attach to your deer stating "Objects are larger than they appear."
...Lifesavers - In case you fall into the water.
... Map, in case the compass doesn't work
...Matches - To light your fire
in case first method of rubbing stick together failed. CAUTION: Do not strike matches near bellybutton vicinity.
...Money
Some dough in case you don't get a one or a buck in case you don't get one of those either
- $1.00 - So you can still say you brought home a buck.
...Newspaper - Emergency T.P.
... Pack of gum to repair sleeping bag if you jumped too much. Should be chewed. Gum also may be used to keep trigger finger from shaking while sitting in the cold for six hours.
...Peppermint Patty-To help you keep your cool when you see the Big One.
... Pizza gift certificate in case venison won't be appearing on the dinner menu.
... A rock to heat in the fire (see above) and place in your sleeping bag. The smell of plastic burning indicates you've overcooked the rock and need to exit your sleeping bag post haste.
...Rubber Ball-In case you fall out of the tree, you can bounce back.
...Safety Pin-To remind you to be safe.
...Sand Paper-To smooth out any rough trails.
...Sponge - in case it rains.
... Squirrel or Rabbit Bait - Bag of mixed nuts
...Starburst-To give you energy for the chase; To give you a burst of energy for those last miles of tracking the deer.
... Tin Can and String - for when the phone system fails. Needs more than one person to use.
...Tissue-To dry your tears when the Big One gets away.
...Toothpick-To help you pick the best shot
to hold your eyes open after sitting in the blind for six hours.
...Trail Mix-To eat along the way or to mark your trail.
...Two sticks - briskly rub together for making fire
...Tylenol - In case you get Buck Fever.
---submitted by Pookie & Unknown author
Ice Hockey Coach
... Balloon - to remind you to teach the children to reach for the sky
... Bubble Gum - to remind you not to burst any child's bubble
...Cotton Ball - to cushion all the falls
...Eraser - to remind you that even coaches make mistakes
... Fireball - to warm you up on the ice
...Throat Lozenges - for when you loose your voice
... Gum - to help your team stick together
... Hugs & Kisses - to remind you that you are appreciated
...Marbles - to replace the ones you loose
...Puzzle Piece - to remind you that every child is an important part of the puzzle
...Snickers Bar - to remind you that laughter can overcome all
...Star - to help you make every child shine
...Teeth -(those false play ones) to replace the ones you could loose
...Tums - for all the upset stomachs