Survival Candy Kits - Humorous - A-B - Accountant to Bus Driver

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Poems quotes, Sayings and Quotes

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Inspirational & Humorous Survival Kits
with Poems, Quotes & Sayings:
- Survival Kits from A-B

    * Please leave names on poems.Thank You! :)
    Survival Kits Compilation A-B by Jazz. *

    Survival Kits

    Make a collage of things listed in a specific survival kit. Items can be:
    ...from magazines, catalogs, etc.
    ...candy wrappers
    ...rubber stamped
    ...actual item if small - paperclips, rubber bands, band aids, etc.
    These can be framed, or not. List the ingredients & what they are intended for on the back.

    Container Ideas:
    ...I make them up in those white VHS tape cases. They really turn out nice, gluing all the little treasures on the inside left cover and around the "meanings" on the right side. I use those 3D cards from the dollar store to slip into the plastic fronts and backs, and stickers of letters and numbers for the important dates into the out side spine".

    Package Idea for Survival Kits
    #1 - I use 3 or 4 inch (wide) plastic bags, and make a topper using one of many different computer graphic programs, usually PSP. I like to keep my survival kits small (I use 6 or 7 items that will fit into the plastic bags). I use a graphic, and the survival kit name (ex: Dieter's Survival Kit) on the front of the topper, and place the verse on the back. I use clear contact paper over the whole topper, which gives it a nice finish, and staple the topper to the top of the plastic bag. I will add a pix soon...
    Submitted by Di

    #2 - I use Print Artist to create two labels. One with graphics and "Teacher's Survival Kit" on it....and one with all the ingredients on it. (Front and Back label) I laminate the labels too.
    Then I use the two liter bottles to stuff everything into. Love to watch them try and figure out how you got everything in there.
    Remove the soda label from a two liter bottle. Cut a slit vertically about 4" long. Cut two small slits perpendicular to that one to create a door. Then fill the bottle with all the ingredients. I also add shredded paper, and confetti.....etc.
    I use double sided tape on the laminated labels. Or you can use a wide piece of packing tape to tape over the label. Put the label over the slit on the front and one on the back. Glue the bottle cap on also.
    Submitted by Paulette

    #3 - You can do them a lot of different ways.
    1. Stuff the mentioned items in an empty 2 liter pop bottle, and make a new label for it with the "survival kit" on it. (Label covers the slit you make to put the stuff inside) Add some ribbon at the top on the lid.
    2. Use an empty clean new paint can (from home improvement centers). And make a label with the "survival kit" on it, and put the contents inside sticking out with tissue also sticking out...or put all the contents inside and close the lid on them, with another graphic on the lid or front.
    3. Put everything in any kind of container, that has a card or tag attached with the "survival kit" on it...

    #4 -
    ...all the survival kits we have been talking about on this site. put the kits in a quart canning jar with a big sticker on the front telling you what was inside. The top was covered with fabric that matched the theme, along with a ribbon. mom's survival kit in a baby bottle.

    Accident kit for children
    ...bubbles - to just blow all your worries away
    ...chocolate covered raisins - for when your spirits need 'raisin'
    ...dum-dum - to remind you not do anything that silly again
    ...flipz - to remind you that you will be back to doing 'flips' in no time
    ...hugs & kisses - because they always make you feel better
    ...lifesaver - to 'save' you from feeling bored.
    ...mounds - to remind you of how much you are loved
    ...$100,000 bar - to give to mom, to pay her back for how much this little accident is going to cost her
    ...snicker - to remind you that laughter is the best medicine
    ...tootsie roll - to help all the pain just 'roll' off your back

    ...Abacus -- for when your calculator wears out
    ... Battery -- to help you keep going and going and going
    ... Candle -- for when you're burning the midnight oil
    ... caramel -- to help you remember to take time out to "chew the fat" with friends
    ... Get out of Jail Free card -- for that tax return you fudged on
    ... Hershey's Hug -- to remind you that I care about you
    ... lemon drop -- to remind you that "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade."
    ... Lifesaver -- to keep you from drowning in everyday problems
    ... lollipop -- to help you lick your problems, no matter how many there may be
    ... Magic Wand -- for the magician people think you should be
    ... Marbles -- to replace the ones you will loose
    ... mint -- so you will always have a fresh outlook
    ... pack of gum--to give you that "stick-to-it" attitude
    ... paper clip--to help you "hold it all together."
    ... Penny -- to give you the extra "cents" (sense) everyone needs to know which battles are worth fighting, and which are better ignored
    ... Piece of string -- to help you "tie-up" those loose ends
    ... pin (safety pin) -- to help you "pinpoint" your problems, the better to solve them
    ...Rope -- in case you get to the end of yours
    ... rubber band -- to help you to remember to be "flexible" in all things
    ... Snicker candy bar -- to remind you that laughter IS the best medicine
    ...spoon - for digging yourself out of debt
    Paulette, 1999...TLC Creations

    Several years ago, Jean was in a Sunday school class that handed out a paper about "getting ready for Christmas". It involved concentrating each day on things we take for granted, and then adding something representative of the thoughts to a box for the needy. Food was part of it, but there were other things. On about December 20 take the box of things to a food bank, homeless shelter, nursing home, etc. You could gift wrap the items and indicate on a tag what was in them or leave them unwrapped. It wouldn't hurt to add your "list" to the box, if nothing else, maybe a worker at the shelter or soup kitchen will pick it up and share it with someone for next year.

    Pick one idea for each day that pertains to something in your life - or think up ideas of your own.
    I can afford the dentist... add a toothbrush and toothpaste to the box
    I have clean underwear each day... add a pair of new socks
    I have fruit to eat... add a can of peaches
    I can afford to be picky; not all children can... add a can of spinach (or whatever you dislike)
    I have light to read by... add a flashlight with batteries
    I am blessed with good vision... add a small, framed piece of art or a magazine with pretty pictures
    I have the gift of being able to hear... add a cassette of Christmas music
    I can smell... add a pretty pouch of potpourri
    I can taste... add a small package of holiday candy or chocolate
    My sense of touch is not impaired... add a soft blanket or plush animal
    I can read and write... add a book of poems/short stories/inspirations/etc, some pretty writing paper and envelopes, a nice pen
    I can walk, jump, run, dance... add a pair of cushion-y insole inserts
    I have access to good medical care and insurance to pay for it... add a bottle of Tylenol, bag of cough drops, hot or cold pack, first aid kit, cute print Band-Aids
    I am fortunate to live in a clean, safe, warm home... add a bottle of dish detergent, some childproof outlet plugs, a smoke/carbon monoxide detector with new batteries
    I have friends and family who love me... add a necklace with a heart locket or a picture frame
    I have precious memories of family members who have passed on... add a pretty candle
    I can say what I want and vote for whom I want... add an American flag
    I have plans, dreams, goals, and hope for the future... add a pretty calendar for 2000
    I have friends near and far... box of all occasion cards and a book of stamps
    I can go to the beauty shop if I want... add a comb or brush.
    I am fortunate enough to have 2 bathrooms... add a bar of soap.
    I am lucky not to have to drag my clothes to the Laundromat... add laundry detergent.
    I don't have to wash diapers in a wringer washer and hang them out to freeze dry... add a box of disposable diapers.
    I have a nice warm house... add mittens, hats, etc.
    I have a car in the garage and can go where I want, when I want... add bus tickets.
    I can go on a date with my husband when I want... add a gift certificate for 2 to the movies and a gift check for a sitter.
    I have animal friends to love me... add some cat or dog food.
    I have a beautiful Christmas tree to celebrate Jesus' birth... add some ornaments.
    I can afford some treats... add a box of cookies or candy.
    I can feed my baby... add a bottle, nipples, liners, or powdered formula.
    I don't always eat grape jelly; even if it IS cheap... add your favorite jelly to the box.
    Jesus was a fisher of men... add some tuna or salmon cans to the box.
    My child has the advantage of a good school - add pencils, paper, crayons, etc. to the box.
    My child is blessed with imagination and creativity... add a Barbie doll, Legos, art supplies to the box.
    I can stay warm through the winter... add a coat or a blanket.
    I can groom myself well... add nail clippers, deodorant, shampoo, soap etc. (This is not meant as demeaning at all! When I did volunteer work for a women's shelter, they always asked for basic toiletries such as these.)
    I can take care of my baby... add diapers, formula, diaper rash ointment.
    I can afford to have fun... add movie tickets, video rental certificates.
    I can afford to take pictures of people and places that are important to me... add a single-use camera
    I have $ for food... add gift certificate to supermarket
    I have $ for clothes... add gift certificate (Nordies or K-Mart or anything in between!)
    I have a big garden... add a pot, zip baggie of potting soil, and some seeds or bulb (amaryllis, paperwhites?)
    I am blessed with 2 beautiful children... add a card/painting/drawing done by your kids
    I have friends I can call when I need someone to talk to... add a prepaid calling card
    I have a job - this one has me stumped... alarm clock, wristwatch, wallet?
    My checkbook balanced on the first try... add a pocket calculator and packet of pencils
    I'm blessed because my kids are healthy... include one of those fever strip thermometers.

    #2 -
    Small birthday candles in the appropriate colors for His birthday.
    A lifesaver to remind us of whose birthday it is.
    A piece of straw to remind us of His birth place.
    One of those gold stars that we remember from childhood for the one that led the shepherds.
    A tiny peppermint cane to remind us that because of this birth, his red blood that washed us clean as white snow. And maybe a decaf. Natural peppermint tea bag with your favorite verse of the Christmas story attached.
    Relax and read the story out loud, even if it is just to your gold fish.

    Angel Friendship Bag
    Make a copy of the following poem and attach to cello bag with ribbon or tulle:
    Angel Friendship Bag
    Contained in this bag are a few SWEET reminders of FRIENDSHIP
    ...LIFESAVERS: To remind you of many times other need your help and you need theirs.
    ...SWEETTARTS: To help you appreciate the difference in others.
    ...KISSES: To remind you that we all need hugs & kisses
    ...BUTTERFINGERS: To remind you that everyone makes mistakes - Remember to forgive and ask forgiveness.
    ...SNICKERS: To remind you to always smile, enjoy life and our friendships.

    ...Band-aid-a reminder of the tough times, and how you remedied them.
    ...Candle- for "lighting up" each other's life.
    ...Confetti - to celebrate your special day.
    ...Cotton Balls- to help soften the rough times.
    ...Crayon- to "color" your days bright and sunny.
    ...Date Book-to remind you of all the "Special days" in your life.
    ...Dog bones - We are all "dog gone" happy to help you celebrate this special anniversary.
    ...Dove "Promises"- for your promise to love, cherish and honor each other.
    ...Eraser- to remind you that every day you can start with a clean slate.
    ...50 pennies-a reminder of the good "cents" you had to keep a marriage together for all those years.(change to 25 pennies)
    ... Glitter-to keep the sparkle in your marriage.
    ... Gold coins-(chocolate) to remind you of your Golden Anniversary.(silver wrapped coins for Silver Anniversary)
    ... Good & Plenty - may you always remember the "good" times and may you have "plenty" of them.
    ... Hugs and Kisses-because you deserve them.
    ... Marbles - to replace the ones you lost through the years.
    ... Match- because you are a perfect "match".
    ... Memory game -May you always cherish all the wonderful memories you have together.
    ... pack of gum- you "chews" each other for life.
    ... Paper Clip- to help keep things together.
    ... Peanuts - to remind you that things can get a little nutty; after 50 years, a reminder that you can get a little nutty.(change to 25 years)
    ... Peppermint Patty- for the "cool sensations" you give each other.
    ... Poem - to share the beauty of words.
    ... Popcorn- We "popped in" to wish you a happy anniversary
    ... Rainbow-a reminder that there is more happiness in store.
    ... Rubber band-a reminder to stay flexible.
    ...Seeds - may your love grow stronger, happier and even more wonderful with each passing year.
    ... Silver Bell - to celebrate your "silver" anniversary.(for silver anniversary; use gold bells for golden anniversary)
    ...Skittles- for the rainbow of excitement you share.
    ... Smiley Face- reminder to keep smiling.
    ... Snickers-to remind you of all the laughs you had together.
    ... Starburst- to give you a "burst" of energy on the days you don't have any.
    ...Sweet tarts- because you are each other "sweethearts".
    ...World - we all think the "world" of you.
    Hope this helps......


    Fifty years of wedded bliss...
    You deserve a great big kiss...
    A hug or two are also here....
    Congratulations to the lucky pair......
    Best Wishes are in store...
    How bout trying for 50 more....
    Happy Anniversary!
    - by Gingersnap


    Twenty Five years of wedded bliss...
    You deserve a great big kiss...
    A hug or two are also here....
    Congratulations to the lucky pair......
    Best Wishes are in store...
    How bout trying for 25 more....
    Happy Anniversary!
    -by Gingersnap

    Anti-depression kit
    contains the following :

    ...balloon - to let the air out of your worries
    ... Bubbles: blow your troubles away
    ... Candle: To light up the darkness
    ... Confetti: To add some sparkle to your life.
    ... Cotton Ball: For the rough roads ahead.
    ...elastic - to help you stretch beyond limits
    .... eraser, so you can make all your troubles disappear; A reminder that we all make mistakes, but we can wipe the slate clean..
    ... Hug & Kiss: To remind you that someone cares about you!
    ... Lifesaver: To remind you of the many times others need your help and you need theirs.
    -in case someone says you've lost all of yours
    To keep you rolling along for days when you've lost all yours.
    ... Paper Clip: To hold everything together when it falls apart.
    ....penny, so you never need to say you are broke.
    ... Rainbow: A reminder that after every storm comes a rainbow
    ....rubber band, to stretch yourself beyond your limits; To keep you bouncing back and flexible.
    .....string, to tie things together when everything falls apart.
    ...Tissue: For drying your tears.
    ...Toothpick: To pick out the good in others including yourself.
    Submitted by Shelley

    #2 -
    Place on hard surface, then ....
    Bang head
    Continue till anti-depressed or you become unconscious

    #3 -
    Bubble Wrap
    When you are stressed & full of troubles,
    Just grab a piece of bubble wrap & smash some bubbles,
    Watch problmes go with a loud, "Pop! Pop!"
    Soon your spirits will be back on top
    This is very therapeutic, & in a while,
    You'll find yourself beginning to smile.

    Armchair Quarterback
    Purchase a new empty gallon paint can from your local paint or hardware store. Fill it with snacks that store well like pepperoni sticks, summer sausage, beef jerky, cheese, crackers, popcorn, candy, etc. Don't forget the Bad Call Brick! You could also add a pizza gift certificate or even the pizza sale coupons that come in the mail. And if you really want to jazz it up add the Tylenol and Tums. Decorate the can with football fabric or logos of your favorite team. Do a search on the web for your team. Add the Armchair Quarterback Survival Kit poem.

    #1 -
    When the big game days comes
    And to the TV you're glued
    With only Tylenol & Tums,
    Can you make use of this food?
    Now if by chance you can't
    Because the referees are too slick...
    And all you can do is rave & rant,
    At least you'll love the 'bad call brick'!
    ---Shirley Thomas

    ...alien - because you are out of this world; because you are so special
    ...angel - heaven-sent
    ...clock - so you won't lose track of time for lunch together - so we can go out to launch
    ...glitter-to sparkle all night long
    ...milky way - you're a star in my galaxy
    ...notebook - for recording all those nebulas, black holes, etc
    ...rocket - out of sight!; shoot for the stars
    ...rubberband-to stretch beyond your limits
    ...skittles-to make a rainbow in the sky - for you to wish upon

    Auto-motor repair
    duct tape
    rubber bands
    silly putty
    paper clips
    super glue

    I know how you feel about your (type of vehicle),
    I know how dear it is to your heart;
    So I put together this little repair kit
    Because I heard it was falling apart.
    Silly putty will fill in those dents & scratches,
    Then touch up with crayons 'til it matches
    Rubber banding parts together is a breeze
    And here is a paperclip to hold your keys.
    Duct tape will hold anything even a bent fender,
    And gum hold lose parts to bring back the splendor.
    Did you know super glue holds on a wobbly wiper?
    Now just don't get so excited that you get hyper!
    ---Shirley Thomas

    Baby shower
    Put these items in a basket for the lucky mom or as a drawing gift for the guests:
    ...Shower of fun shampoo - because it's a baby shower
    ...cute as a button conditioner
    ...labor of love lotion
    ...Oh baby! bath bombs
    ...Formula for fun bubble bath
    ...Special delivery shower gel
    ...I love you drooly soap - because babies drool a lot

    ...Battery - so you can keep going and going and going and going
    ...cotton ball - to help soften the rough roads
    ...Fireball - for when you're burnt out
    ...Gum - to remind everyone to stick together
    ...Lifesavers - in case you fall into the water
    ...Map with your street circled - so you can always find home
    ...Popsicle Stick - in case you get an owie
    ...Quarter - so you can call for help
    ...Skittles - in case it rains, you can provide your own rainbow
    ...Sponge - in case it rains to soak it up
    ...Small Empty Bottle - "Instant Water" add water and shake
    ...2 Kernels of corn - for when you crave a two piece chicken dinner
    ...Tums - for after the campfire food

    Back to school
    ... Band Aid ~ to remind you that feelings get hurt easily
    ...Chocolate Hug ~ to comfort you when you are feeling sad or alone.
    ...Cotton Ball ~ to remind you that the classroom is full of kind words and warm comfortable feelings.
    ... Eraser ~ to remind you that everyone makes mistakes and this is okay.
    ... Ribbon ~ to remind you that friendship ties our hearts together.
    ... Starburst candy ~ to remind you that you are always a star in class...and everyone shines in his own way.
    ...Sticker ~ to remind you that the class sticks together and helps each other.
    ...Tissue ~ to remind you to help dry someone's tears.
    ...Toothpick ~ to remind you to "pick out" the good things in your classmates and yourself.

    Bad Call brick
    Paint a sponge to look like a brick. When the Ref's call was made too quick,
    It's time to bring out the bad call brick!
    Throw it at the set with an aim so ready,
    Now don't you feel better already?

    Bah Humbug
    Ear plugs - to block out the Christmas carolers.
    Antibacterial Hand sanitizer - to wash away Christmas spirit.
    Elf Spray - to keep those pesky critters away. Elf spray can be a spray bottle of water with a label of an elf with a red cross over him.
    A penny - to go with the others that you won't be wasting on gifts.
    A do not disturb sign - to deter any annoying visitors.

    It's that time of year again
    when they say those dreading lines
    "it's better to give than receive"
    are they out of their minds?!
    Why waste all that money
    and share the yummy food
    better to have a solo Christmas
    that's sensible - not rude.
    So bah humbug to them
    this kit will show them all
    you'll have a merry christmas
    as long as they don't call!
    (c) Sue Pitchfork empty wallet - for obvious reasons cards cut in half - for no spending
    ...penny pincher - penny in a spring-type clothespin
    ...lump of coal - you are getting yours now to save Santa a trip
    ...muffin - because you're getting 'muffin' for Christmas
    ...paper towels - to help you absorb some of the Christmas spirit not included
    ...nothing in a jar
    ...jolly ranchers in a baggie so you can have a Jolly, holly Christmas in spite of yourself
    ...millionaire seeds - just in case you change your mind
    ...anti-scrooge pills - some kind of candy
    ...a calendar with no December so they can just skip the whole month.
    Use a holey sock for packaging gift.

    Band member
    ...empty bucket - to help carry a tune
    ...Fireball - To replace the energy you'll use up each game.
    ...Gum - To remind you to "stick" together as a team.
    ...key - to keep on key
    ...musical note - life harmony; hit the right note; so you'll be in tune; noteworthy its - for all those 'notes'
    ...puzzle piece - without you, the band isn't complete
    ...Rubber band - To remind you, in order to get along with each other, we must all stay flexible
    ...Tape - To fix any last minute emergencies.
    ...WD-40 - for squeaky high notes
    ---jazbo 10.07

    #2 - craftyme2
    Small spring clothespin- to keep your music from flying away mini first aid kit-
    tylenol packet - help those off key notes (small square of paper can write on-if medicine is not preferred)
    small bandaid - for those strange band injuries
    tums - soothe that upset tummy (sphere shape foam/paper etc, w/tums written on it- rather than actual tums)
    elastic hair tie- to keep hair out of face on windy day
    mni pencil - for when you need to make changes in music
    mini raincoat- for those unexpected showers (cut out simple mini raincoat form heavy plastic)
    small cloth bag with drawstring- for carrying all things you need (use actual one to put all items in)
    sunscreen - to keep you from burning ( cut out small foam bottle write coppertone on it)

    Band Teacher - for when they splice a note
    ...button - to remind you to sometimes "button your lip"
    ...ear plugs - when you just can't take anymore
    ...eraser - so you can start each new day with a "clean" slate
    ...gum - so they "stick" together on every song
    ...Marbles - to replace the ones you've lost (extra - for the teachers near your room) - to remind you that you are worth a "mint" to your students
    ...Mounds bar - for the mounds of confidence you give them
    ...paperclip - to hold it all together
    ...shiny penny - to remind you, each will shine in their own special way
    ...puzzle piece - without you the band wouldn't be complete.
    ...Sour balls - for the sour notes they play
    ...starburst- to give you a "burst" of energy at the end of a performance; burst of applause for a job well done
    ...tissues - to wipe tears of joy when they finally "??????????" (when they all mix well, harmonize?)
    ...toothpick - so you can "pick" out the best qualities in each musician

    Baseball coach
    ...balloon - so you can teach your team to reach for the sky
    ...bubble gum - to remind you not to burst any child's bubble or aspirations
    ...clay - to remind you that you are forming young lives
    ...ear plugs - for when you can't hear yourself think
    ...eraser - to remind you that even coaches & umpires make mistakes
    ...gum - to help your team stick together
    ...marbles - to replace the ones you use
    ...peanuts - to remind you that you don't have to be nuts to be a coach, but it sure helps
    ...puzzle piece - to remind you that every child is an important part of the team
    ...rubber band - to remind you to be flexible
    ...snickers - to remind you to just laugh at the umpire's bad calls
    ...sponge - to remind you that some days your kids will think you are all wet! - to make every player shine
    ...string - for when you get to the end of your rope
    ...sweet & sour - to appreciate the differences in your players

    Baseball fan
    Take the items and place them in a container of your choice ( baseball cap, stadium cushion place items on top of it and wrap plastic up around fasten with ribbon)
    ... Band - Aid : For injuries resulting from jumping up to yell at umpire
    ... Glasses : For the umpire when he can't see the plays.
    ... Stress balloon : To squeeze instead of the umpire's neck.
    ... Gum - To chew out the officials
    ... Lifesavers - For when the pitcher has ran out of steam
    ... Penny - To help pay off bet on game.
    ... Rubber band - To stretch the rules.
    ... Whistle - To summon food vendor or spouse to bring drinks

    ...balloon - to blow up & dry your hair with
    ...coins - so you can call home
    ...flashlight - to help you find your way home
    ...hugs - because we miss you
    ...journal - to record your trip
    ...postcards - to keep in touch
    ...sunblock - so you won't get baked in the sun
    ...three pieces of corn - a 3-piece chicken dinner, for emergencies

    ...bear books - because you can't 'bear' to put them down a bear - bear kit for a work in progress
    ...gummy bears - to make life more 'bear'able
    ...honey - home is where your honey is
    ...teddy grahams - for those times when you are as hungry as a bear
    ---jazbo 0606

    #2 -
    teddy bear, gummy bears, cinnamon bear cereal, etc
    jingle bell
    plastic pepper
    Bear warning
    Due to the frequency of human/bear encounters, the B.C. Fish and Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen & any persons that use the out of doors in a recreational or work related function to take extra precautions while in the field.

    We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advance warning to any bears that might be close by so yo don't take them by surprise.

    We also advise anyone using the out-of-doors to care 'pepper spray' with him in case of an encounter with a bear.

    Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, & be able to tell the difference between black bear feces & grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces is smaller & contains lots of berries & squirrel fur. Grizzly bear shit has bells in it & smells like pepper.
    --kit idea is mine, jazbo

    Bigger b-o-o-bs dust
    Alakazam, Alakazear
    Make my flat chest disappear,
    In it's place put a large bust
    With the help of this Magic Dust.
    Forget double D, forget double E;
    Make them a whopping double G.

    Bike Rider
    ... Anti fog for glasses
    ... Bubble Bath - Soak those tired muscles
    ... Cologne - Remove the odor of sweat
    ... Comb - Keep that hair in style
    ... Compass - Never be lost, stay on track
    ... Cotton Balls - Cushion the blows
    ... Erasers - Erases the pain
    ... Eye drops - Keeps the eyes fresh
    ...First Aid Kit - For All wounds during bike ride
    ... Flashlight - Light up your life
    ...Kleenex - For the tears of joy at the finish line
    ... Lip Chap - No cracked lips
    ... Moist Towelette - Keep cool
    ...rub on tatoos
    ...spiked dog collar
    ... Sun Blocker - NO sunburn
    ...Sweat Bands - Keep the sweat out of your eyes

    Bingo Bag
    ...cotton ball - to help cushion your losses
    ...lucky penny - so you will never go home totally broke
    ...rubber band - to stretch out a winning streak
    ...starburst - to keep up with the fast pace
    ...tootsie roll - to help the payoffs rolling in
    ...toothpick - to help pick out good cards

    Bird watcher
    ...binoculars - to stay focused on your subject
    ...bird guide - 'cause this hobby is for the birds!
    ...bird treat - something 'tweet' for the birds
    ...feather - don't let troubles get you 'down'
    ...knapsack - this is for the birds! - so you can find your way home
    ...notebook - for noteworthy sitings
    ...trail mix - for eating on the go
    ---jazbo 0606

    Birthday Ideas
    ... Balloon - Let the air out of all your worries; to add to the festivities
    ... Birthday candles,
    ... Cake - So you can have your cake and eat it too!
    ... Cake sprinkles--to shower you with a rainbow of happiness
    ... Calculator - for accurately calculating your age
    ... Candle: Remember not to burn it at both ends
    ... Candy- So your special day be as sweet as your are!
    ... Confetti- Don't go to pieces just because your another year older!
    ... Crayon-So you can have a bright and colorful day
    ... A cup cake--so you can have your cake and eat it too..(make a satin cupcake, using a foil cupcake paper doubled, and wad up some stuffing and put it in a circle of satin that is then glued into the paper cup--add some lace or trim around the edge of the satin ball where it meets the paper cup)
    ... An ice cream cone--to savor the moment (perhaps make a satin ice cream scoop to put in it!).
    ... Jewel - Because you are as "precious" as a jewel!
    ... matches -to light your birthday candle or your fire
    ...Mini "Happy Birthday" Banner (scroll and tie with bow)
    ...Money: So you' 'have some to burn'
    ... A party top hat--cause you're tops!
    ... A party horn --so you can toot your own!
    ... Penny - So you'll never be broke!
    ... A piece of wrapping paper-so you can wrap yourself in surprises
    ... Rose - To remind you to stop and smell the roses along the way!
    ...Streamers to decorate your party & excitement to your soul
    ... A sugar rose-to remind you to stop and smell the roses along the way
    ...A teensy gift that is wrapped with the "gift" poem on it
    ... Tissues - To help wipe away all those tears!
    ... A Tootsie Roll - So you can "toot" you own horn!
    ...Wrapping Paper - So you can wrap yourself in surprises!
    Submitted by Birdiekity

    #2 -

    Birthday card, birthday banner, candles, party hat, cassette tape with birthday greeting, balloons. Instructions to use your birthday kit -

    1. Take all contents out of kit and inspect for any fraudulent or suggestive material, or any damaged or defected parts.

    2. Read the enclosed printed material (card) for proper credit for this kit. Please send any comments or complaints you may have to the return address shown.

    3. Post your "Happy Birthday" banner on an appropriate wall so you will enjoy this day of (age of person) years, always.

    4. Blow up balloons that have been supplied to you and hang them next to your banner. Sorry, but the manufacturer could not supply the air, this is one item "not included".

    5. No one can feel the party mood without the help of a party hat. Place your hat on your head and start to feel festive.

    6. Next place the enclosed audio tape in a cassette player and sit back and listen to the message.

    7. You will note we have enclosed the correct number of candles for your convenience, cake not included.

    8. I apologize that I was not able to be there in person to help you celebrate but I'm here in spirit!

    9. We hope you will take time and enjoy this new edition of our self help birthday kit. Much fun has been spent to see your birthday is a success.

    10. This is satisfaction guaranteed. If you have any problems with the materials in this kit, please call us immediately at ...............
    Have a Happy Birthday.
    ~Author Unknown by me~

    ...Candle- light up the darkest hour
    ...Confetti -add sparkle to your life
    ...Cotton ball-cushion the bumpy road ahead
    ...Eraser-we all make mistakes but we can wipe the slate clean and start again
    ...Hug &Kiss Candy-remind you that people care about you
    ...Lifesaver-remind you that you need others and others need you
    ...Marble-keep you rolling along
    ...Paperclip-hold everything together when your life feels like it's falling apart
    ...Penny-Save this and you will never be broke
    ...Polished Rock-all things in life 'polish' off our rough edges so we can shine
    ...Rainbow (prism)-after a storm, the sun appears and rainbows happen
    ...Ribbon-tie a knot and hang on to
    ...Rubber band- keep you bouncing back and flexible
    ...Tissue-to dry yours or someone else's tears
    ...Toothpick-pick out the good in yourself. or someone else

    Boot Camp
    Craft doll hair - to replace the hair Uncle Sam cut off
    Hard candy - to sweeten him up
    Life savers - to thank him for the fine training he gave your son/daughter
    Spray starch = to see if he can be any more stiff & unyielding with the rules
    Throat lozenges - to soothe his throat after screaming at the recruits all day

    ... Band Aid-for the blistered fingers
    ... Blinders-so you won't see how the others are playing
    ... Blue Ribbon-you are always a winner
    ... Pin Money-you always need more (fake of course)
    ... Starburst-for that burst of energy needed for the game
    ... Tire-for when you need to pick up that spare
    ... Towel-to dry the tears
    ... Velcro-for when you need to get a grip
    ... X -for that much needed strike

    Asprin - for when the headache is me.
    Cotton wool - fill your ears to drown out my nagging.
    Bandaid - to prevent hurt feelings.
    A button - to help you button your lip when you want to yell at me.
    A chocolate kiss - to remind you that you are loved.
    Confetti - I reminder to have fun.
    Gum - Friends stick together
    Lifesavers - Because you are my lifesavers

    I know I've been a pain
    stressing about my special day
    and filling your head with problems
    as I want it all my way
    But as it comes together
    our friendship shines through
    and this kit and my gratitude
    I offer now to you.
    (c)Sue Pitchfork

    If you take the 'R' out, you have 'bother'.
    Growing up was like a trip to the zoo (animal crackers)
    Living with an out-of-this-world guy like you (glow in the dark stars)
    As a child, you were a real pain (aspirin)
    I could have traded you time & again (deck of cards)
    You drove me nuts! (nuts)
    But I tried to grin & bear it (bear)
    & I hated it when you were sick (hanky)
    & you wanted me to share it. (gift certificate)
    Now we are both oldies (old car)
    I bee-lieve it to be true (honey) I 'knead' my brother (bread)
    & I'm glad that it's you! (mirror)

    - I smile because you're my brother; I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it.

    COTTON BALL-To help soften life's rough roads
    JOLLY RANCHER-For the joy you give to others
    PENNY-For luck and fortune where ever you go
    PUZZLE PIECE-You are an important part of me
    ROCK-Because you are a tower of strength
    RUBBERBAND-To stretch you beyond your limits

    Building a new home
    ...Broom - to make a clean sweep of things, including the builder
    ...Coat hanger - to help them hang in there
    ...lotion - to help them grin & bare it
    ...paper towels - to blot out troubles
    ...picture frame - just picture how your house will look when it is finished
    ...playing card - it's a gamble with a builder who does not communicate
    ...sponge - to wipe away frustration
    ...strainer - because things have been a little strained & they need time to sift through all the obstacles

    Red - to help you bite your tongue
    Blue - take deep breaths but don't hold your breath!
    Brown - for patience
    Yellow - to help keep a sense of humor
    Orange - to remember "this too shall pass"
    Green - to help you warn others to beware of who they employ

    NOTE: Eat the whole packet when you get the urge to take up smoking and remember after all the waiting your lovely new home will be a smoke free haven.

    A little remodeling
    should be an easy task
    but you got a contractor
    with his head up his a-r-s-e!
    He makes you want to scream
    you're on the brink of insane
    but just take deep breaths
    and know you will smile again.
    All things must finish
    this madness will fade away
    and your new home will emerge
    free of worry and disarray.
    © Sue Pitchfork 2005~

    Bus Driver
    ... Aspirin - take two every day
    ... band aid - For healing hurt feelings, yours and someone else's
    ... candle - To find your way to the bus on those dark mornings.
    ... Cotton Ball - to cushion those rough roads
    ... Crayons - To "color" your days bright and sunny
    ... eraser - To erase any mistakes or misunderstandings
    ... Gem - to remind you that you are carrying precious cargo
    ... joke - Laughter is the best medicine.
    ... Marbles - to replace the ones you've lost
    ... Mirror - to remind you how important you are.
    ... Mounds - for the mounds of miles that you drive
    ... paper clip - To help keep things together.
    ... pencil - For the next time somebody says "get the lead out"
    ... penny - So you have enough "cents" to realize what a good job you are doing
    ... piece of string - For when you reach the end of your rope - tie a knot & hang on
    ... poem - To share the beauty of words.
    ... Rubber bands - for when your patience is stretched
    ... Sponge - to soak up the rain, so you don't have to drive in it
    ...stick of gum - To remind you to stick with it!
    ... tissue - To wipe away a tear-- your own or someone else's.
    ...Tootsie roll - so you can "roll" down the highway
    ...Tums - for all the nervous stomachs

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