Poems quotes, Sayings and Quotes
Please keep the authors names with their poems. Thank You! Funny Homemade Survival Kits
with Poems, Quotes & Sayings:
- Survival Kits from " H-M "
Survival Kits - starting from "H-M".
Compilation by Jazz. *
Survival Kits
housewarmingA Traditional Housewarming
Bread - So you never go hungry.
Wine - So your life is always sweet.
Salt - So there is always spice in your life.
And a Candle - So you always have light.
#2 -
Bread so your larder will always be full
Salt to give it savor
Honey for a sweet life in your new home
#3 -
Bread so you'll never go hungry
Salt so you'll have good luck
Wine so you'll never be thirsty.
Housework
by shirleyt@craftsayings.com
To help you survive the housework
so it doesn't drive you totally berserk...
Mounds for the mounds of laundry.
A starburst to give a burst of energy.
A lollipop that will help you to lick it.
A stick of gum to help you stick with it.
Snickers to turn your frown upside down.
A lifesaver so in clutter you don't drown.
A tootsie roll to keep you rolling along.
A fireball to keep the mood burning strong.
Now housework can wait for another rant,
but the hug & kiss is cause loving can't!
How sweet are thy words
How sweet are thy words unto my taste! Yea, sweeter than honey to my taste. Ps 119:103
- Almond Joy: ...leap for joy...your reward is great in heaven. Luk 6:23
- Bit-O-Honey: Pleasant words are as an homecomb, sweet to the soul.... Prov. 16:24
- Candy cane: ...thy rod & thy staff they comfort me. Ps 23:4
- Gum: "chews' ye this day whom ye will serve,... Josh 24:15
- Gummy bears: Bear ye one another's burdens... Gal. 6:2
- King-sized anything: King of kings, Lord of lords 1 Tim 6:15
- Mint: God 'mint' what he said when- & the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh. Gen 9:15
- Rocky road: straight is the gate, & narrow is the way Matt 7:14
---jazbo 10.08
Hunter SK
#1 -
Jerky
Trail mix
Chap stix
Socks
bug repellant
map of the area to be hunted etc..
... ADD..2 one dollar bills so that "THE MIGHTY HUNTER"can say he brought home TWO BUCKS...
...ADD..2 aspirin
...incase he gets "BUCK FEVER"......
...Add a frilly Garter
...label it DEAR LURE
...to lure my BUCK back home.
...A small bottle labeled "DEAR REPELLENT'and
"Not now Dear, I'm going HUNTING"
~unknown
...Snacks your Hunter/Fisherman likes,
...Hand warmers (the kind you press or pop and it turns warm) (Just go to a sporting store and look for small hunting & fishing stuff!)
...Alka Seltzer - After the campfire food.
...aspirin - for buck fever ...Balloon-To remind you not to blow up at other Hunters.
...Bandage - In case you need some TLC.
... Bark with moss remembering that moss always grows on the North side of tree. (see compass)
...Bellybutton lint - use as fire starter (please feel free to substitute your own).
...Caramel-To help you out of sticky situations.
... Cell phone in case you can't read the map.
...Chocolate Covered Raisins (Animal Poop) - For those tell-tell signs.
...Compass -
To help find your way
To help you maintain your sense of direction
So you won't lose your way
Compass, in case you don't remember which way is North (see bark)
...Cotton Balls - To cushion the rough terrain.
...Dear Repellent - "Not now dear, I'm going hunting."
...Doctor's excuses, supply of - stating you won't be at work on__________ (insert date) due to Buck Fever.
...Dog Biscuit-We will be doggone happy when you get the Big One; For your loyal companion.
... Forked stick - use with elastic from drawers for a sling shot to roast the squirrel who died from laughing watching you collect bellybutton lint and rubbing two sticks together. Also may be used as a rifle prop to steady your gun while you're violently shaking from the cold.
...frilly garter :Dear Lure' - to lure your buck back home
... Gather leaves, throw in garbage bag and hop up and down for impromptu sleeping bag. Or, gather two ducks, throw in garbage bag and gently hop if you prefer a down-filled sleeping bag.
...Hershey's Kiss - To attract a "dear"
... Labels to attach to your deer stating "Objects are larger than they appear."
...Lifesavers - In case you fall into the water.
... Map, in case the compass doesn't work
...Matches -
To light your fire
in case first method of rubbing stick together failed. CAUTION: Do not strike matches near bellybutton vicinity.
...Money
Some dough in case you don't get a one or a buck in case you don't get one of those either
- $1.00 - So you can still say you brought home a buck.
...Newspaper - Emergency T.P.
... Pack of gum to repair sleeping bag if you jumped too much. Should be chewed. Gum also may be used to keep trigger finger from shaking while sitting in the cold for six hours.
...Peppermint Patty-To help you keep your cool when you see the Big One.
... Pizza gift certificate in case venison won't be appearing on the dinner menu.
... A rock to heat in the fire (see above) and place in your sleeping bag. The smell of plastic burning indicates you've overcooked the rock and need to exit your sleeping bag post haste.
...Rubber Ball-In case you fall out of the tree, you can bounce back.
...Safety Pin-To remind you to be safe.
...Sand Paper-To smooth out any rough trails.
...Sponge - in case it rains.
... Squirrel or Rabbit Bait - Bag of mixed nuts
...Starburst-To give you energy for the chase; To give you a burst of energy for those last miles of tracking the deer.
... Tin Can and String - for when the phone system fails. Needs more than one person to use.
...Tissue-To dry your tears when the Big One gets away.
...Toothpick-
To help you pick the best shot
to hold your eyes open after sitting in the blind for six hours.
...Trail Mix-To eat along the way or to mark your trail.
...Two sticks - briskly rub together for making fire
...Tylenol - In case you get Buck Fever.
---submitted by Pookie & Unknown author
Hurricane
... Band aids - for the boo-boos you'll get when cleaning all that debris
... Candle - to light your way in the dark night
... Glitter - to remind you to look on the bright side
... Lifesaver - because you are one to the cat that's stuck in the tree
... Marble - to replace the MANY that you'll lose in the wind
...Match - to light a fire when you're cold
... Pencil & Paper - to make up for not being able to use the puter
...Radio Batteries - to keep up-to-date on the world around you
...String - to tie things together when everything falls apart, literally!
...Tylenol - for the headache you'll have when you see the mess you'll have to clean up!
Hysterectomy SK
Posted by Paulette Ann on Sat, Feb 6, 99
... Aspirins - for those headaches you always said you had but now really do!
... Erma Bombeck book - for when you need to laugh and can't
... Hand cream - for that dry skin that comes with the big "H"
... Mini pads - just in case the bladder gets a little weak (always wear when going out with the girls for lol)
... Pen & paper - for writing things down so you don't forget them
...Tissues - you'll cry a lot and won't know why ...Tweezers - for those facial hairs that may appear when hormones get out of whack
...Velcro - when you need to get a grip on things
I was going to bring you flowers
A magazine or two
But then I thought this basket
Would bring a smile to you
It's filled with little treaties
To make your hospital days more bright
And a little more enjoyable
As you rest and get put right
© 2005 Yvonne Lowther
Ice Hockey Coach
... Balloon - to remind you to teach the children to reach for the sky
... Bubble Gum - to remind you not to burst any child's bubble
... Cotton Ball - to cushion all the falls
... Eraser - to remind you that even coaches make mistakes
... Fireball - to warm you up on the ice
... Throat Lozenges - for when you loose your voice
... Gum - to help your team stick together
... Hugs & Kisses - to remind you that you are appreciated
... Marbles - to replace the ones you loose
... Puzzle Piece - to remind you that every child is an important part of the puzzle
... Snickers Bar - to remind you that laughter can overcome all
... Star - to help you make every child shine
... Teeth -(those false play ones) to replace the ones you could loose
... Tums - for all the upset stomachs
Irish step dance kit
There is really nothing that I could find for Irish dancing but there is a dancing survival kit & maybe you could combine it with some Irish things.
Dancer's Survival Kit
... Band aids to comfort your boo boo's
... Ben gay to comfort your tired muscles
... Chapstick to protect your beautiful lips
... Deodorant to keep you smelling oh so pretty
... Power bar to get you through practice
... Scrunches so we can see your beautiful face
... Smiley sticker to remind you to smile, smile, smile
... Solarcane to take away your burning
... STAR to remind you that you are
... Sunscreen to protect you from burning
... Tape to keep it all together
... Throat lozenger to comfort your tired throat
Lucky Charms
Classroom treat:
...blue moon - to remind you that once in a while, we all make mistakes, & that is OK
...colorful rainbow - to remind you to promise to always do your best
...green clover - to give you good luck as you begin first grade
...pink heart - to remind you that as your teacher, I care about you!
...pot of gold - to remind you that you're worth more than gold
...purple horseshoe - to remind you that 'U' matter
...red balloon - to remind you to soar above the clouds & try new things
...yellow star - to remind you to always shine!
St. Pat's Pinch Protection Kit
...green glitter - Luck O' Leprechaun dust
...green paper punched lips - kiss me: I'm Irish
...shamrock pin
...Instructions:
- sprinkle the dust for good luck
- carry the lips with you for lots of kisses
- wear the pin to ward off pinches
---© Bonnie J.
Jail
...ball - to remind you not to get 'caught'
...balloon - put your hands up & 'reach' for the sky
...banana - to a 'peel' your case
...block - new kid on the cell block
...boat - to remind you to 'seas' the opportunity & escape
...boomarang - so you can make a come back
...box - to remind you not to feel boxed in
...broom - to make a clean sweep of things when you get out
...calendar - your days are numbered
...chicken - feeling cooped up?
...coin - the change will do you good
...cracker - you've been a 'wafer' while
...lifesaver - for when you are in over your head
...music symbols - to face the music
...pencil - to 'write' your wrongs
...pickle - for when you find yourself in a pickle
...ruler - to keep you on the straight & narrow
...spider - in 'spider' everything, you'll be out soon
...toothpick - so you can pick the lock
Jesus to the Rescue
...Band Aid-reminds us of the "aid" that God gave to Noah, Elijah, etc.
...Mint- Noah believed that God "mint" what He said.
...Carmel-Elijah "prayed" on Mount Carmel for God to come to the rescue.
...Fireball-Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego obeyed even when it became very hot.
...A broken tongue depresser- God does not want us to depress our tongues. Rather we need to courageously speak like Esther.
...A lifesaver-Jesus saves us from our sins.
Kindergarten
As this was your First Day of School
Hope you felt happy here
And as a special Welcome gift
I've made you this bag, my dear.
Each item bears a message
To help you understand
That you are very special
And that I will be your friend!
Doreen Scerri © 2005
This was given to a friend's child on his first day of kindergarten. It was in a party favor bag:
... The band aid is to let you know that together we can make things better
... The chocolate hug is to remind you that you are cared for
... Cotton ball...Kindergarten is a warm, cozy place!
... The eraser
is to remind you that it's okay to make mistakes
it's okay to make to make mistakes as long as you try your best.
... Gummy Bears...Kindergarten is like you-'beary' nice!
... Heart sticker: this classroom will be a safe and caring place
... Hugs...We all need a hug sometimes. If you need one at school, I'll always have one waiting for you!
... Key... The classroom belongs to all of us; we need to take care of it.
...The life saver is to let you know that you can always talk to me; to help you remember that you can come to any adult in our school family if you need someone to talk to!
...The penny is to remind you that you are valuable
... Pretzel...When you sit on the floor- sit like a pretzel.
... Puzzle Piece...You are an important piece of the class.
... Ribbon...Friendship ties our hearts together and we are all friends in Kindergarten!
... Smarties...You're going to get even smarter this year!
... The star is to remind you to always try your best
... Starburst...You are a star in my class!
... The sticker is to remind you that we always stick together in kindergarten!
...The tissue is for drying your tears and those of others
Submitted by Rhonda & tadpolesgranny
Knitter's
...a cable stitch holder
...plastic rings that act as markers
...row counters
...make fabric needle holders that have lots of pockets & rolls up, etc.
...get some yarn holders so yarn doesn't wander around
...put all gifts in a nice canvas bag
...a needle gauge that lets you determine the size of the needles
...a yarn kit like from Mary Maxim, Herschners (?), etc.
...a couple of knitting magazines or patterns
...knitting noddy
...fringe maker
...couple of skeins of fun, funky yarns
...small yarn winders for doing knitted designs where colors are changed often
...rubber needle point protectors
...pompom makers for hats, toys, etc.
...something to weave up holes, when you drop a stitch
...headache pills, for the complicated patterns
...tiny torch to knit in the dark
...an untangler for all those tangles.
....disposable gloves to keep knitting clean.
...talc powder to use on hands when knitting white baby wool,
...Knit Tally - So your friends can count on you.
...Row Counters - To count the good qualities of your friends.
..Tape measure - To measure your found memories
...Yarn cutter - To cut loose any bad feelings
...Knitting needle holders - To hold onto your loving projects
...Needle gauge - To keep track of the size of your jobs.
...Stitch Markers To mark the times you spend with friends and family.
LAS VEGAS SK
... Almond Joy ... To remind you that this is supposed to be fun.
... Extra Shirt ... For when you loose yours.
... Fritos ... When you loose all your "chips" at the table, here are some extra ones
... Goggles ... To help you find the "sharks" (card sharks
*... Hamburger ... so you can get nourished without leaving the slot machines.
... Hugs and Kisses ... To remind you that no matter what, you are loved.
... Kleenex ... To wipe away the tears if you loose.
... Lollipop ... To remind you not to be a "sucker".
... Playing Card ... Your Ace in the hole.
...Quarter ... So you won't leave there broke
...Starburst ... For that extra burst of energy at 2 in the morning.
... Toothpick ... To help you "pick" out the good machines.
...Wiggle Eyes ... To remind you to keep an "eye" out for each other.
*For the Hamburger.....I used those candy hamburgers the gummi ones. For the extra Shirt...I used some old doll clothes. For the goggles....I found some at the dollar store.
Paulette, TLC Creations
LEAVING HOME
... Baggie: To hold your wit so you won't lose it
... Fireball: To replace the energy you'll use up by missing us
... Hugs and Kisses: To remind you that we love you
... Milky Way: To remember the way home
... Paper Moon: To remind you not to take everything at face value
...Pay Day: To remind you to call me on pay day when you have the money...
...Pen, stamps & envelopes: To write those long letters we'll be waiting for
... Ribbon: To tie a knot in and hang onto us
...Starburst: "Cause you'll always be a star in my book
...Sugar Baby: 'Cause you'll always be my Sugar Baby
...Toothpick: To remind you to pick your friends carefully
Submitted by Rhonda
Librarian
...Animal Cracker - this place would be a zoo without you!
... any treat: librarians come & librarians go, but you're the best I'll ever know. thanks for being there
...Bag - to hold everything while you try to keep things together
...book: I'll 'book' you as my librarian any day
...candle: you light up our world with wonder
...Clock - time flies with a good book
...Confetti - reading adds sparkle to our lives
...Cotton Balls.....for when you want to drown out any additional requests; for when you can't hear yourself think
...Crayon - you bring color to our lives
...extra gum: you always go the 'extra' mile
...flowers: librarians help students bloom
...fruit: you make learning 'a-peeling'
...gummy bears: I can't 'bear' to think what school would be like without you. You're a great librarian!
...Jewel - because you are as valuable as a precious stone
...Lifesaver candy - you are a lifesaver to many of your students
...Marbles - to replace the ones you've lost ...mints: I 'mint' to tell you how much we appreciate you; thanks for your commit-'mint', encourage-'mint', & involve-'mint'
...Mounds Bar - for the mounds of assistance you give our students
...Pair of gloves - When you need two extra hands to help you.
...paperclip - to hold your busy life together
...plant: thanks for helping our students 'grow'
...Starburst - to give you a "burst" of energy when you need it
Life
When in doubt or when problems arise
Reach for your survival kit
It contains
A TOOTHPICK so you won't be too picky
A LOLLYPOP to help you lick your problems
A RUBBER BAND to help you be flexible
A PAPER CLIP so you can hold things together
A STICK OF GUM to give you stick-to-itiveness
A PIECE OF STRING so you can tie up loose ends
A PIN to help you pin point your problems
A PENNY so that you will have enough cents to
realize what a valuable asset you are to your friends and family
AND OF COURSE GOD IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE !!!!
Lemonhead
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
- Unknown
2. Heart Lollipop
"Write in your heart that every day is the best day of the year." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
3. Laffy Taffy
"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine." - Lord Byron
4. Candy Watch
"Do not squander time for that is the stuff life is made of." - Unknown
6. Starlight Mint
"We can't all be stars but we can all shine."
10. Now and Later
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow." - Unknown
Lifeguard
...beach umbrellas for drinks
... eyedrops--to keep your eyes fresh so you don't miss a thing
... Jewel--because you are valuable to everyone you watch over,
... Lifesavers with "Thanks for being a Lifesaver".
... Marbles--for the ones you've lost...
... Mints--to help you cool down after sitting in the sun all day; we 'mint' to say how much we appreciate the excellent job you do with our kids
... Mounds Bar--for the mounds of courage you need,
... sponge--to remind you that some days people will think you're all wet,
... Starburst--to give you energy just when you need it,
... sticky tape--for sticking to a tough job
... sunglasses--to hide from the glare
... suntan lotion
... visor--for shielding the sun from your face
... weatherproof lip balm
Lift your spirits
... Band aid for some of life's hurts
... Breath mints - so your words are always clean
... a chocolate kiss: to remind you that someone loves you
... confetti: to celebrate your joys of life
... eraser: to remind you that every day you can start with a clean slate.
... hair brush - so you can brush away your tears
... mirror-a reminder to always be a reflection of God's love
... A nail file - in case you run into any rough personalities (or for filing away those rough moments)
... Peace sign - reminder to rest in God's peace
... Pair of google eyes - a reminder to keep your eyes on the Lord
... pair of socks - reminder to keep both feet on the ground
... Package of powdered lemonade: When life gives you lemons make lemonade
... a poem: to share the beauty of words
... Quarter: if you need a friend call me
... Rubber band to help you stretch your perspective; keep flexible
... a stick of gum: to remind you to stick with it.
... string - to hold things together
... sweet & sour candy: to help you appreciate the difference in others.
... Tissue- to dry tears
... Tooth pick - help you pick out the good in others
... Visine - to help you see clearly
... Visor- to shield you from life's sorrows
Listen to the Spirit
A tiny bell that rings ever so softly that represents how we must carefully listen to the still small voice.
Fruit to symbolize that the fruit of the spirit is love, joy and peace.
A dove to represent the Holy Ghost.
A book to represent the scriptures where we can study and feel the promptings of the Holy Ghost.
A sun even though there is only one, many can feel the warmth.
A small patch of comfy material representing a comforter.
A compass and map for direction.
A flashlight for guidance.
A shell to hear the whisperings of the spirit.
Loose Screws
I know your screws are loose.
I can hear them jggling about;
So here's a few extra ones,
In case they fall right out!
--Shirley
Love and Marriage
.. Button - A reminder to button your lips and count to ten when angry.
... Candle - To remind you are the light of my life.
... Cotton ball - To help cushion the rough times ahead.
... Date book - To plan those special days.
... Gum - To remind you to stick with it.
... Heart - To remember that love makes it last forever.
... Kleenex - To help you dry the tears of your loved one.
... Nail - To help build a lasting relationship.
... Paperclip - To help keep everything together.
... Rubber band - To remind you that flexibility is the key
... Stamp - To stamp out the problems that will arise.
... String - To tie things together when everything falls apart
... Toothpick - To remind you that they picked you.
Love
... Candle- you are the light of my life
... Charmin Tissue- you are too irresistible NOT to squeeze
... Hugs and Kisses- your s are simply the best
... Jolly Rancher - for all the times you make me laugh
... Matches- we are a perfect match
... Mounds- for the mounds of love I feel for you....
... Peppermint Patty- for the cool sensations you give me
... Reminders of why I love you:
... Stick of gum- for all the times you've stuck by me
... Sweet Escapes- for those times we spend alone
1. Starlight Mint
"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilies."
- Janos Arnay
2. Red Hots, Starburst
"Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame."
- Henry David Thoreau
3. Heart Lollipop
"Love is the bridge between two hearts."
- Unknown
5. Sweetarts
"All love is sweet, given or returned."
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
7. Smarties
"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."
- H.L. Mencken
8. Laffy Taffy
"You talk too much, you laugh too loud, that's the price of love."
- Brian Ferry
9. Candy Lipstick
Any of the 'kisses' quotes
LOVE TO SHOP
Red - For grabbing a bargain
Blue - For haggling for the best price
Brown - For blistered feet
Yellow - For sales
Orange - For finding the perfect item
Green - To get a good parking spot
The love of shopping
puts a smile on your face
and going to the mall
is your favourite place.
Even in your dreams
the cash register will ring
so enjoy your shopping sprees
and the bargains it will bring.
© Sue Pitchfork.
Lucky Charms
Classroom treat:
...blue moon - to remind you that once in a while, we all make mistakes, & that is OK
...colorful rainbow - to remind you to promise to always do your best
...green clover - to give you good luck as you begin first grade
...pink heart - to remind you that as your teacher, I care about you!
...pot of gold - to remind you that you're worth more than gold
...purple horseshoe - to remind you that 'U' matter
...red balloon - to remind you to soar above the clouds & try new things
...yellow star - to remind you to always shine!
Mail Carriers
... Bag...to put your frustrations, worries and troubles in before you go home
... balloon - to help lighten your load
... Cotton Balls...to cushion your rough roads
... Doggie treats - to divert the dogs attention
... Happy Faces...to remind you that smiling is contagious; to remind you that your smile is contagious
... M & Ms...to remind you that you are "M"arvelous and "M"eaningful
... Mounds Bar...for the mounds of miles you walk
... Peppermints...to keep you cool
... safety pin = to keep you from harm
... Scissors...to help you "cut" out the bad parts of your day
... Snickers Bar...to remind you to keep your sense of humor
... Starburst...to give you that extra "burst" of energy at the end of your route
... Symphony Bar...to put some music into your route
... Tootsie Roll...to help complaints "roll" off your back
P.S....I asked the Postmaster to increase your salary to "$100 GRAND" and he said that your "CHEX" are in the mail.
©Paulette, 1999 ~ TLC Creations
M&Ms Prescription
Red-take as needed to put pizzaz in your day
Blue-relieves pain caused by changes in plans
Yellow-increases digestion of good ideas
Green-gives you energy to keep up with your students
Brown-kills infection caused by patience worn thin
Orange-relieves tension caused by too much to do and too little time to do it!
Mammogram reminder
The original idea was pink & white M&Ms in a cellophane cone with a tag that was decorated with a pink crossed over ribbon with a ribbon rose on it:
Because I care
There is something you should do
Not just for me or just for you,
But for all those whom you hold dear -
Please have a mammogram this year!
It might be a bit aggravating
To be squished & squoozen
But you know that the best choice
Is the one you've chosen!
You will feel much better
When all is said & done,
But if not - then here's a treat -
Something just for fun.
---Thena
managers:
... battery-to help you keep going and going
... Hershey's Hugs -when you need one
... lifesavers-when you think you are drowning in work
... marble-for when you lose yours
... match or candle-to brighten or lighten things up
... mint-because you're worth a mint
... rubber band-to hold things together
... Snickers bar-when you need to laugh
maple festival
Bucket - to help you carry it off well
Compass - to help you maintain your sense of direction
confetti - to help you celebrate the good times
cow - for an udderly great time
gloves - when you need a hand
gum - for when things gets sticky
hard candy - to sweeten things up
Hook - to help you hang in there
nail - ...to help nail things down
penny - so you have enough "cents" to realize what a valuable person you are
small polished stones - for smoother tomorrows
sponge - to help soak up all that sap
Starburst--to give you energy just when you need it
Tootsie Roll- to remind you not to bite off more than you can chew.
tree - to remind you what a tree-mendous time this is
wet wipes - maple syrup is like love - - you can't spread it around without getting some on yourself!
---jazbo 1.06
gloves - to give you a pat on the back for helping us every year with the festival, etc.
lifesavers - for when you are drowning in all the preparations
hugs chocolate - because you deserve them
aspirin - take 2 before you start on a project, etc.
thyme - this festival is the perfect time for families, community to enjoy themselves
jewel - because our maple trees are a treasure or because we treasure our maple trees
heart = to remind us that the maple trees are the heart of this festival
confetti - to help remember this is a great time of year
Mardi Gras
Coins -
Green - represents faith
Gold - represents power
Purple - represents justice
Moon Pie
Plastic bead necklace
Mask
Crown
Recipes for Gumbo & Jambalaya
---Jazbo 08.02.10
Marriage
Cheaper than a marriage counselor!
Antacid - for the occasional upsets you encounter
Aspirin - to soothe the headaches in any relationship
Band-Aids - to help small hurt heal (first aid kit)
Candle (or a lighter)-
for "lighting up" each other's life.
to soften the glare of everyday bustle with a romantic glow
... Chewing Gum - to add flavor and freshness
... Confetti - to celebrate your special day.
... Cotton Balls- to help soften the rough times.
... Crayons- to "color" your days bright and sunny.
... Crazy Straws - to keep a sense of humor in even the most mundane tasks
... Dish Towels - to wipe away the frowns
....Dove "Promises"- for your promise to love, cherish and honor each other.
... Eraser- to remind you that every day you can start with a clean slate.
... Flashlight - to light the way through dark times
... Highlighter - to make the important times in your life stand out
... Hot Pad - for when things get too hot to handle
... Hugs & Kisses - to remind you that someone loves you and to give this to one another unconditionally.
... Ketchup & Mustard - to spice things up
... knotted string - to unite your love and commitment to each other
... Match - because you are a perfect "match"
- to spark the coals which will smolder and glow with the warmth of your love. (Matches were put inside a decorative brass match box)
... Mirror - to reflect on your life as you build it together
... pack of gum- you "chews" each other for life.
... Paper Clip- to help keep things together.
... Paper & Pencil - to keep track of your blessings. (pen set and nice writing paper engraved with their name)
... Peppermint Patty- for the "cool sensations" you give each other.
... Poem - to share the beauty of words.
... Popcorn- because you keep "popping in" to each other's thoughts.
... Red Yarn - to tie around your finger so you remember to say "I Love You".
... Rolling Pin - to smooth all the bumps along the way
... Ruler - to measure your love as it deepens
... Safety Pins - to keep you safely "stuck on" one another
... Shiny Penny - for luck
... Skittles- for the rainbow of excitement you share.
... Soap - for clean living
... Starburst- to give you a "burst" of energy on the days you don't have any.
...Sweet & Sour Candy- to help you appreciate the differences in each other.
...Tea Bag- take a few minutes for yourself and relax.
...Tissue -
To wipe away your tears of joy
- to wipe away the inevitable tears
© Pam G. and Jana M.
#2 -
...Marriage lotion ( rub a dub, dub don't be a snob ) - some kind of cream
...Writing Device ( when you can't find the words ) - pencil
...Rope ( for the ties that bind )
...Tickler (safer than boxing gloves, and fits in the box ) - feather
...Whistle ( Time Out !! Foul ! Penalty kick ! )
...Kissing Lips ( always puckered and ready to go )
...Bandage ( for a broken heart )
Mechanic
Bobby pin - when nothing else will hold it together
Duct tape - to remind you that when you have tried everything, there is always one more option; to hold things that aren't supposed to move
Electrical tape - to keep you from being jolted in life
Gas can - so you won't run out of gas
Grease - to remind you that life does get a little slippery sometimes; to lubricate things that aren't moving
Grease rag - to remind you to clean up after yourself
Gum - when you can't find the screws or you need to plug a hole
Key - to get your motor running; so you will always have a spare
Monkey - so you will finally have a use for that monkey wrench
Set of sockets - so you can socket to them
Menopause
put M&M's into a cute container and add these directions
To temporarily calm your craving for chocolate, eat the BROWN one.
At the first sign of hot flashes eat the RED one.
Eat the ORANGE one to minimize depression.
The GREEN one calms your frustrations, when you want to be left alone.
If you feel a headache coming on eat the YELLOW one.
The BLUE one reduces bloating.
If all symptoms occur at the same time, eat the WHOLE bag.
unknown source
Menopause Wand
they used wood skewers...like the ones you make kabobs with. I found a package of 100 at a local dollar store. These were about a foot long. I plan to find some cute clip-art to put on a basic star shape and have a poem on the back. I've still got to figure out how to attach it to the skewer. Any ideas?
#1 -
Burning up one minute
And then you find you're cold
Worrying about whether
It means you're gettin' old?
Thighs a little thicker
Waist a tad bit too?
Breasts are sagging quite a bit
What's a girl to do!
The doctor says "don't worry!"
"You're goin' through the change!"
All's you think is "thank you!"
'I thought I was deranged!'
So step right up and listen
This is perfect just for you
It's a menopause magic wand
And here is what you do
The next time dear old hubby says
"Hey babe let's go to bed"
Raise the wand into the air
Then smack him on the head!
By: Jennifer Byerly
#2 -
The next time someone bugs you
And gets under your skin
Smack 'em with this magic wand
And you'll feel better again!
---Jennifer Byerly
#3 -
The next time you feel grumpy
And others won't get back
Use this magic wand on them
And give a little smack!
---Jennifer Byerly
#4 -
The next time you feel grumpy
Your nerves are on attack
Use this magic wand so you
Can give someone a smack!
by: Jennifer Byerly
Men's stuff
Mid-life Crisis Kit
... Balloon- to Hold all that hot air you're full of.
... Car- to help you resist the urge to buy a new sporty number
... Clock - for all those 'senior moments'
... Magnifying glass - because every thing now seems to be written in fine print
... Marbles-To replace those you may have lost. ... Mint- to help you remember all the things you "MINT" to do.
... Paper clip- to help you hold it all together
... Penny-to help you get a start on your retirement fund.
... Toy car - to help you overcome that urge to buy a red, convertible sports car
Submitted by Rhonda
Military Personnel
... Candle - to light up the darkness
... Cotton Ball - to cushion the rough road
... A hug- to let you know there's always someone on your side
... Jolly Rancher - to remind you to laugh
... Lifesavers - to remind you that that's what you are
... Map with your street circled on it - so you will never be far from home
... Mint - because you are worth a mint
... Mounds Bar - to remind you of the mounds of love & support you have from friends & family
... Pack of Gum - to help your unit stick together
... Paperclip - to hold it all together
... Piece of String - for when you reach the end of your rope
... Post card & pen - to remind you to write home once in a while
... Shiny Penny - to remind you that we each shine in our own way
... Small Empty Bottle - "Instant Water" add water and shake, for when you are on maneuvers
... Tootsie Roll - to help you roll with the punches
... Yellow ribbon - to remind you, we will always be here waiting for you, and ready to welcome you home
... The Cinnamon Toothpicks will help you "pick out" the special qualities that make you a true hero.
... The Peppermint represents your commit "mint" to defending our country.
... The Tootsie Roll Pop will remind you of the vital "role" you play in our society.
... The Smarties will give you the "wisdom" to lead and the humility to follow.
... The Bubble Gum will help you "stick with it" to complete any task or mission.
... The Laffy Taffy will remind you that "laughter" is always the best stress reliever.
... The Saf-T-Pop will help you preserve a "safe" environment for future generations.
... The Candy Watch is to let you know that your contributions to our country and the world are "timeless."
... Mars Bar, Milky Way acknowledges your sense of honor and duty is truly "out of this world"
1. The Cinnamon Toothpicks will help you "pick out" the special qualities that make you a true hero.
3. The Peppermint represents your commit "mint" to defending our country.
4. The Tootsie Roll Pop will remind you of the vital "role" you play in our society.
5. The Smarties will give you the "wisdom" to lead and the humility to follow.
6. The Bubble Gum will help you "stick with it" to complete any task or mission.
7. The Laffy Taffy will remind you that "laughter" is always the best stress reliever.
8. The Saf-T-Pop will help you preserve a "safe" environment for future generations.
9. The Candy Watch is to let you know that your contributions to our country and the world are "timeless."
10. Mars Bar, Milky Way acknowledges your sense of honor and duty is truly "out of this world"
Minister's, Missionary
...Band-Aid- for healing ailing souls.
...Candle-Let your light so shine.
...Cotton Ball- a cushion of support from your family and friends.
...Lifesaver- because you are giving others a whole new life
...Penny-so you'll never be broke.
...Rubber band - remember to bend your will to the Lord's.
...Tootsie Roll- to help you roll with the punches
Mom To Be, New Mom
... Aspirin-for when all else fails --take two
... Baby is sleeping sign-to remind others
... Baby shoes--to keep her always running
... Candle-for when you are burning one at both ends
... Clock -to remind you time will pass too quickly
... Cotton ball -for the times you can't hear yourself think
... Cotton swab-for better listening
... Diaper - for emergencies
... Do not disturb sign-to remind you that you need time to yourself
... Eraser-to remind you every new mom makes mistakes
... Fireball-for times when you are burnt out
... Foil-to remind you motherhood makes you shine
... Glitter-a glimpse of how the world looks through a little one's eyes
... Hershey hugs and kisses --for you and the baby -you both deserve them
... Jewel...now that you are a mother, you are even more valuable
... Lifesavers-to save you on "one of those days"
... Lollipop-to lick all your problems
... Lullaby tape - for relaxation with things are trying
... Marbles...to replace the ones you will lose
...Mirror-to reflect on who you are in this baby's new world; to remind you that you are important too
... My phone #
...Nuts -to remind you to get a little nutty
... A pacifier-you'll find a use for it!
... Pen & journal - to write down the special moments & thoughts
... Penny--for your thoughts; for luck...you are on your way as a new mom! Include a lucky penny poem
... Peppermint-you are worth a mint as a new mom
... Pink ribbon-to tie in her curly hair
... Puzzle piece- you are an important part of your child's big picture
... Rope - in case you get to the end of yours
... Rubber band - flexibility is the key to motherhood; to stretch and grow with your baby
... Silly putty- even babies love silliness
... Spice--so the baby will have personality
... Starburst -for a burst of added energy
... Sugar--for a sweet girl; baby.
... Sweet & sour candy - to remind you every baby is different
... Tissue - to dry those tears--baby's and yours
... Toothpick - to pick out the good in all situations
... Tootsie roll - to remind you to let the small stuff roll off your shoulders
... Velcro - when you need to get a grip
... Wooden apple--she will be the apple of your eye
*** Select your gifts & put them in a diaper bag with a tag "New Mommy Kit".
Mom and Daughter
A message to Daughter
and Mother....
What applies to one,
applies to the other.
This kit is filled
with reminders of life,
love, and behavior, and
a few little things for
you to savor....
... Button....for when you burst with pride.
... Candle...to let your light shine through.
... Candy...to let you know how sweet you are.
... eraser...to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and that's alright.
... Gold thread...Thread that ties our hearts together.
... Heart....The heart represents your life which brought , warmth, music & joy into the lives of those around you.
... Hershey hug....a big squeeze for you..
... Hershey kiss....a kiss for you..
... Kleenex....To aid in drying any tears you may shed.
... Life Saver...to let you know I will always be there for you.
... Mint....cause your worth a mint to me...
... Poem....something of beauty to share
... Recipe....a reminder to make something special for those you love.
... Toothpick...to pick out the good qualities of everyone, including yourself....
Monkey
...banana bread - man doesn't live by bread alone - he also 'kneads' some buttering up
...bananas - very a'peel'ing
...barrel of monkeys game - for a barrel of fun
...Curious George book - you'll go 'ape' over his adventures
...dried banana chips - when the chips are down, eat some of these
...fine tooth comb - for nit-picking
...notebook - for keeping track of your monkey business
...sock monkey - for something to monkey around with.
---jazbo 0606
Morning sickness
...Antacid ~ to help your tummy forgive you for the little thing you couldn't pass up.
...A bottle of water to rinse your mouth breath mints
...Chamomile tea - to settle your upset stomach
...Gum - for a change when you are tired of mints
...Mints - for fresh breath after being sick
...Moist towelettes - for a quick clean up
...Penny ~ to help start saving for that college fund.
...A plastic bag
...Puzzle piece ~ so you won't forget that you life would not be complete without the precious little one that you're expecting
...Rubber band ~ to remind you that you won't always be huge...You'll get to keep the stretch marks for the rest of your life.
...Saltines - for that sick-in-the-morning feeling
...Snacks: plastic Ziploc (you can even get small, snack-sized ones) and filling them with a variety of comfort foods. Remember, think salty, sweet, crunchy, soft, to satisfy any craving. The following are portable, fairly nutritious, and could save you in a tight spot.
Pretzels
Whole-wheat crackers with or without peanut butter*. (I loved the pre-packaged peanut butter or cheese sandwich crackers that come six to a pack. They are not as healthy as homemade because they are processed, but remember, check the guilt and go for convenience.)
Carrot and celery sticks (Those carrots are easy to prepare.)
Apple slices
An orange
Rice cakes
Graham crackers
Your favorite cereal
Pack along a spoon and a small yogurt (if you're not going to be gone long and it won't get too warm)
...Spare T-shirt or top
...Tissues - because now you cry during all the Hallmark commercials
...Tootsie Roll ~ to help you satisfy that Chocolate craving
...Travel toothbrush, toothpaste - for a quick brush wherever you may be
...Wash cloth - for wetting; to soothe your tired brow
...Wipes
Mother of the Bride
A mint for sweet breath
A safety pin to hold her nerves together
A candy bar or chocolate truffle with the words "when the sweetness of this day is gone, may the memories linger on and on"
A pack of kleenex for when the tears start coming
A mirror to check her mascara
A mini bottle of champagne so she can celebrate when she gets home (after the happy couple has left)
A note pad and pen for last minute thoughts
Mother's Thank you Kit
... Almond Joy bar - for all the joy you have given me
... A bag - to help you keep it all together
... Battery - to thank you for all the times you never gave up, you kept going and going
... Candle - thank you for being my *guiding light*
... A clock - thank you for always finding time for me & it's about time I let you know how much it meant to me
... Confetti - to celebrate all the good times
...Crayons - to thank you for your sunny outlook, for brightening my days and ALWAYS warming my heart
... Eraser - to remind you that everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we learn by them
... Fireball - for times when you are burnt out
... Flower - a reminder of how motherhood makes you shine
... Heart - you are close in heart, not just today, but everyday
... Hugs and kisses - to thank you for loving me unconditionally, here's hugs and kisses for you always
... M&M's - You are a *Marvelous Mom*
... Memory game - thanks for all the good memories
...Mounds Bar - To thank you for always giving *mounds* of courage, patience, support, understanding, laughter and love
...Pack of seeds - to thank you for helping me grow into whom I am today
... A poem - thank you for always knowing just what to say
... Pom Poms - Thank you for always being in my *cheering* section
... Smarties - to thank you for all your advice
... Smile face sticker - to wish you happy days always
... Sweet and sour candy - to remind you that every child is different
... Tea Bag - so you can sit back and relax once in a while
... Tootsie roll - to remind you to let the small stuff roll off your shoulders
... Tooth - thank you for sharing your wisdom
... World - you are the *Worlds Greatest Mom*
Thank you for always giving your best, for loving me and believing in me and for always being there 365 days of the year.
Mother's
For the best times in life!!
... aspirin-for when all else fails--take two
... baby is sleeping sign-to remind others
... Bag - to help you keep it all together.
... Band aid: To fix hurt feelings.
... Button: A reminder to button the lips and count to 10 when angry.
... candle-for when you are burning one at both ends; for when you are burned out
... Clock - to remind you that time will pass by too quickly, enjoy every moment.
... Confetti - to help you celebrate the good times.
... cotton ball-for the times you can't hear yourself think
... Cotton Swab: To clean out little ears -- for better listening;
... do not disturb sign-to remind you that you need time to yourself
... Eraser - to remind you that every Mom makes mistakes
... Fabric Square - for all the times you will have to use your imagination for last minute costumes, outfits.
... Fireball - for times when you are burnt out
... Flower: A reminder of how motherhood makes us shine; A reminder of the dandelions little ones pick that mean more than a lavish bouquet;.
... Glitter: For a glimpse of how the world looks through a child's eyes.
... gum - to remind you to stick with it.
... Hershey's Hugs and Kisses -- for when you've given all of yours away and you need some back; to let you know someone cares; For the little ones -- to make everything all right!!
... Jewel - now that you are a mother you are even more valuable.
... Lifesaver: For when you've had one of those days!; - to save you from one of those days; to remind you that everyone needs help once in a while.
... Marble: For when you've lost your marbles; to replace the ones you will loose.
... Mirror - to remind you that you are important too.
... Pen & Journal - ( or the Journal Jar) -- to write down your thoughts, and hopes and joys for your children
... Penny - for your thoughts; with thanks for sharing your thoughts
... Puzzle Piece - because you are an important piece in your child's journey through life
... Rose - to remind you to take time to smell the flowers.
... Rubber Band: To stretch you beyond your limits; - to remind you that flexibility is the key; for when you are stretched beyond your limits, stretch this.
... Smarties - to help you on days when you don't feel so smart.
... Snickers bar - to remind you to see the funny side -- there is one!
... Spice--so she will have personality
... Star: in a child's life you are a star.
... Starburst - for energy
... Sweet and Sour lollipop - to remind you to lick the sour times and savor the sweet times
... Sweet & Sour Tarts: A reminder that the good comes with a little bad, but the good overcomes!; to help you find the sweet in the bitter times.
...Tissue: For drying little alligator tears; to dry those tears, the children's and yours.
..Toothpick: To pick out the good in trying situations.
... velcro- when you need to get a grip
...2 Wiggle Eyes - those extra eyes for the back of your head.
---Unknown Source & ©Paulette, 1998~~TLC Creations
Moving
... Felt Marker
... Hugs and kisses - To remind them that you care
... Instant Soup Mix
... Kleenex - For drying eyes when they miss all their old friends
... Labels, assorted sizes
... change of addy cards
... compass - to find their way around their new place
... nightlight - to help them find their way to the bathroom
pencil & paper - to write down where they put things
... Phone card - To stay in touch
... A picture of their old house - "Always remember where you came from"
... Postcard or note card, preaddressed - So they can write you from their new home
... Puzzle piece- Things just aren't the same without them
... Small address book - to keep addresses of old friends and new..and for email addies
...Stamps & envelopes
... Trail Mix
Leaving behind your old home
will be so bitter sweet,
but not having to mow lawns
now won't that be a treat!
Extra time for a social life
new friends to get to know,
less clutter means less dust
and more time to watch a show.
I know you had to downsize
and things feel rather strange,
but the things that really matter
is the stuff that doesn't change.
Your love for one another
your humor and zest for fun,
enjoy your deserved retirement
new opportunities have just begun!
~Sue Pitchfork~
'Mug' your neighbor
I got this idea from church. We have coffee mugs and put a church leaflet in the cup along with some tea bags and candies. We take them to people in the community to invite them to church. We call it "mug" your neighbor. I thought this same idea could be used for anything. For example, My Mom and I enjoy singing. So, for her I placed her favorite tea, kisses and Hugs candy, and a Karaoke tape of her favorite song so she could sing along in the mug. I wrapped it up with cellophane and a ribbon.
On the tag, I wrote, "You have been "MUGGED"! And, a few special words to her as well.
You could do this with anyone's interest, it is such a versatile idea. Anyway, happy crafting.
God Bless, Nikki